Dagon's Palp

Dagon’s Palp? Now there’s a name that takes me back…

Dagon’s Palp is a little, godforsaken spit of rock about 120 miles west of Blood Cove, absolutely bugger all lives there. I encountered it way back while I was still aboard the Wormwood; that piece o’ shit tub was stuck in a doldrum and Vivian, heh, sorry, ‘Scourge’ had a word with Cap’n Harrigan, may he rest in piece…or pieces I should say! Anyway, we were to row over to the Palp with some goat, slit the beastie’s throat to break the curse of the still air. Fuckin’ pirates.

So we arrive, we’re all there y’see, Meself, Gian, Mameha, Kaheed, Edward and Jasper. Now right off the bat Kaheed is bleating worse’n the goat about how goats are the sacred messengers of the gods and we can’t just kill it, I know, foreigners, worse than pirates, am I right?! Anyway, i’m not in the mood for a scrap and Jasper, him being a mighty mage or some bullshit he made up at the time, says killing the goat won’t make any difference one way or t’other so we let it go. Kaheed calms down and off we go on our little jaunt. I find a few marks and tracks, we quickly find a shipwreck on the coast and scout out a handful of tents on the Northern edge of the island, Memeha reckons them to be survivors from a ship she sailed on once or what have you. Before heading over to introduce ourselves we also decide to check out a cave overlooking the beach we landed on.

So we head into this cave, it’s dark, it’s wet and, while they are all big names in the Shackles now, my companions are fair shitting themselves. You got to understand this is way back, Gian was only a wet-behind-the-ears noble girl out for a bit of excitment, Edward still had both his legs for fuckssake! So there we are, in the dark, twitchy as all hell when this bloated, sea-rotted corpse lunges out the dark at us! Bam! Kaheed is off, everyone else cacks themselves, even I took a double take. As we wait for the shambling horror to advance on us we realise it is just a corpse hung from a string. We all feel like right pricks, let me tell you!

Anyway, we press on and find a deep hole at the end of the tunnel, water at the bottom. Now none of us feel like dropping into a hole with no way to get back out and no idea what’s at the bottom, so we turn back. Just at that moment our torch goes out, now the darkness is pitch-black; we hear Edward shout, someone casts a spell, no idea who, and the lights come back on. Edward is grappling with some goblin-looking thing on the edge but it scampers off down the hole when the lights come on. OK, at this point our nerves are shot, we leg it back to the cave mouth and send Edward and Kaheed out to drop us a rope. I stay behind to guard the women…and Jasper. While we wait we spot a great swarm of snakes coming up the tunnel behind us! Now there must be a hundred snakes coming at us, the women…and Jasper…shit themselves but there is nowhere to go except for an 80 foot drop! So there we are, unscalable cliff behind us, swarm of venomous snakes in front. We’re dead. But, I hear you cry, ‘Titus you handsome rogue, you’re not dead! How did you get out of that one?’

Luckily for my crew I am as wily as I am mighty, I figure that snakes don’t swarm like that naturally and; if there had been a hundred snakes in that cave you can be damn sure i’d’ve seen them on the way in. I reckon this is some kind of wizard’s trick and lo and behold, what do I spot clinging from the roof but another Gremlin. I takes my crossbow and shoot the little begger, ignoring the snakes which are biting me and swarming over my companions. He manages to hex my bow but not before I can finish him off. With the little critters death the swarm dissappears, day saved. Do I get showered with praise for my good work? Hell no, it’s all ‘Titus stop calling me a pussy, you’ll make me cry’. Damn Jasper, he does whinge. Anyway, we get up the rope tossed down by Kaheed and head over to chat to those poor unfortunates who have taken up involuntary residence here.

They come along pretty quick, no problems from them, not yet anyway. Turns out Mollie would be trying to take off old Ambrose’s head with an axe within the month but that’s another story. They tell us the Gremlin’s have been sneaking into their camp at night from the sea. We have’s us a look and find a couple of deep sea caves leading under the island. We decide to deal with the gremlins before heading back to the ship since we don’t want to be dealing with them for the next three weeks! Wasted effort, I still had to hunt the little fucks down once we got back on board. So we swim through with me going last as I am the best. I arrive just in time to see Gian being dragged back through the sea cave by a Tiger Fish, Kaheed flailing at its head, I stick it with my gladius and it promptly fucks off. Day saved. Again. We find ourselves in yet another cave, this one with 4 feet of delightfully chilly sea water in it. We head along that before it opens up into a bigger chamber. I sneak ahead to have a look, I find yet another gremlin talking to some withered old hag thing. Deciding aggression is called for before they can run away or hide, I draw my weapons and attack.

Now I am not 100% on what happened next, the way Jasper tells it he fought an hour long arcane dual with what turned out to be a Sea Hag whilst we all sat and watched but I’m pretty sure that’s not true. I remember charging the hag and getting in a few good hits and then I woke up 15ft away with my tunic singed, smelling like burnt hair. In any case I’m pretty sure my example inspired the rest of them to greatness. It turns out the hag had been responsible for the doldrum so with her death the Wormwood was free to go on its plunderous way. Day saved, except for divvying up the loot! Speaking of divvying up the loot…who owes me another drink? What you saying, boy?! Bullshit is it? Come here and let me show you a Kondaran handshake…

A tale told in the Lusty Barmaid in Quent by Titus Stern 30 seconds before a brawl.

Dagon's Palp

Orithia- Skull & Shackles loke